Hello World!
I made an attempt to write this post during my 4 hours of chemo yesterday, however, my mind was too scattered during the whole ordeal to be able to focus. The energy level for the day was not built on sleep but rather pure anxiety. That was not how I wanted to start the day, but what can you do?
Let's start with Wednesday late evening, the night I decided to post publicly about this new life event. I had been thinking about what to say for weeks and how to make it not just about me. I wanted to provide some awareness to the general public to be more mindful of their own health even when things are hectic. Without us caring for ourselves, we will not be able to be there for our loved ones. I was overcome with nerves while writing the post and finding what I felt were the right words. I think apart of the nervousness was wanted to go to bed early to get ready for my first chemo cycle. It only took about 1.5 hours to come up with my message on Facebook which read:
This day was the day my life changed. I was no longer a healthy woman in her 30s despite how I felt. I was now tainted with this terrible disease that has plagued so much of the world, but I will not let negativity infiltrate my mind. I cannot let something like this take over my life. With the support of my family and friends, I am now on my journey of kicking cancer's ass. If there is anything that I could ask of you all, it is to not put your health on the back burner. Visit the doctor if something doesn't feel right. DO schedule annual check ups, well woman exams, mammograms, etc. Most of all, be honest and knowledgeable when you fill out your medical history because you never know when a doctor will recognize a risk that you were unaware of. Knowing that you can do something to preserve your life is priceless. Take care of yourself because your loved ones are counting on you to stick around. If you'd like to follow along, feel free to stop by www.cisforchristie.com.
It seems so short considering how long it took to write, but I think it was enough information for my friends to grasp and to give them an opportunity to follow me through the blog. After I posted it shortly before midnight, I put on my heated eye mask, and went to bed. I fell asleep quickly but was soon awake with my thoughts just 2 hours later and then another 2 hours after that. It was a vicious cycle which ultimately led to the final alarm for me to get ready to go.
The designated sister for both of my child births was naturally the sister that was going with me to my first chemo cycle, Chi Van. She joined me in the chemo teach meeting which outlined exactly what we could expect in the coming months. With both of us to the brim with information, we came in as prepared as we could be with the exception of our emotions. I am NOT an emotional person, and Chi Van has enough emotions for the entire family. Something about the beginning of me kicking cancer to the curb brewed some real feelings as she prayed over me. The words she said came so naturally and were so heartfelt, that I couldn't help but feel all of what she was feeling for me. I began to feel worse for her than myself. Actually, I do believe that my huge support team is more affected by my diagnosis than I am. Everyone wants to do everything in their control to make this journey easier. I am so lucky to have you all. Now it's back to business. CV put lidocane on my port with what she later admitted were shaky hands. I was looking away as I can't stand people touching my collar bone/neck area. *shivers* We moved into the "infusion suite" and the nurses prepped me for my chemo. I received a cute goody bag and a super soft blanket to help me feel more comfortable during my stay.
If I have ever talked to you about my health or medical issues in general, then you know that I have a tendency to be the medical anomaly. It was no different today. The nurse gained perfect central access to my port, but it was not flowing correctly. So right off the bat, during my first treatment, I had to get poked twice to access the port. The second time made me so nervous that I had a hot flash from a needle being so close to my collarbone. The soft blanket and socks all came off at that point since I was clammy all over. Thank god the hardest part was over and could relax a bit. My BP was already 131/85 which is really high for me. I didn't need any additional events to make things worse. First up on the drip were the Anti nausea and steroid IV to help with the side effects. Then it was the giant syringe of the devil's blood, adriamycin (pictured below).
After that was the cyclophosphamide. Once the infusion process was over with, the nurse placed an on body injector. When it was attached, it felt like someone popped my belly with a rubber band. Neulasta is a mini timed injector that gives me a white blood cell booster 24 hours after chemo. Technology is amazing! The days of driving back to the doctor's office to get a shot the next day are gone.
Something random that happened after I was given the big red syringe was an unusual urine color. I went to pee and it looked like ROSÉ for the next 3 restroom breaks. I tried to take a photo to send to the friends, but my Note 8 failed to catch the color in it's true form. LAME! Needless to say, I was disappointed I had no evidence that it happened. Overall, the whole process was not painful or uncomfortable besides a bizarre taste I had in my mouth during certain bags of meds. My sister and I shared laughs throughout since neither of us were able to focus on what we planned to do during this time. In the blink of an eye, my first infusion was done with! Now the nerves of what I will feel like over the next few days begins.
Tips: Eat ice chips during the infusion to reduce the effect chemo has on your taste buds. Wear a shirt that makes the port easily accessible. Husband bought me one on Amazon from Chemo Care.
My apologies in advanced if this post doesn't reflect my best writing abilities. The post chemo haze has already begun, but I wanted to make sure I documented the experience shortly after. Thanks everyone for all the well wishes, positive energy, and countless prayers. You guys are fueling my healing process with love. Until next time!
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Your Neulasta timed injector sounds pretty cool. I had to go back to the clinic the next day for my shot.